Wicked Stepmother Forces Stepdaughter To Cut Her Hair Against Her Will

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    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/Free Grapefruit2289 4 • 21h 1 2 5 92 2 AITA for forcing my step daughter to cut her hair?
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    Font - I (31) met my husband (34m) 8 years ago, and we have been married for 6. He has an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship. I work from home so I mainly end up taking care of her. I have since she was young. We have a generally good relationship. She stays at her mothers most weekends.
  • 03
    Font - She has incredibly long blonde wavy hair, just past her bottom. It's a nightmare to take care of. It frequently tangles and she always needs help brushing and styling it before school. I'm not a morning person and I do not like having to wake up early to do a kids hair. It's expensive to maintain as she requires more products, she insists on using hair oils which can cost around $11 and only last a few weeks. She also insists she has to use curly hair shampoo instead of regular shampoo an
  • 04
    Font - I decided she had become obsessed with her hair, and I do not want her to become vain, so I decided it needs to be cut. I don't see it as a big deal as I have always had shoulder length hair as my hair does not grow very fast and I get frequent trims. It's a lot more practical. I took her to the hair dressers as normal. In the car on the way down she said she wants to make sure the hairdresser doesn't cut too much. I politely explained that I would like her to cut her hair to shoulder len
  • 05
    Font - At first she thought I was joking, but when she realised she started to cry. When we got to the salon, the hairdresser was reluctant to cut her hair due to her tears but I explained the trouble we have maintaining it, and assured cutting it would be best for her. In the end the stylist agreed and cut her hair. The stylist braided her hair then cut it. She kept it. Her hair was now just past shoulder length, and looked a lot darker. The car journey home was silent, I offered her McDonald's
  • 06
    Font - My husband went up to see her when he got home and apparently found her on her bed sobbing holding her old hair. My husband immediately called her mother to come and collect her and as soon as my stepdaughter was out the door, he started yelling. Her mother also came in and gave me a mouthful.
  • 07
    Font - I explained my reasoning but my husband wouldn't budge. He said if I had issue he would have did her hair in the mornings and that he didn't mind paying for the products. He was so furious he said he no longer trusts me around his daughter, and doesn't know if he can be with a woman who he doesn't trust with her. This broke my heart. I didn't mean her any harm, I was just so tired and I'm trying to reduce stress. I've always been the one to raise her and her brother and I'm just exhausted
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    Rectangle - Impressive_Rock_8967. 21h Partassipant [1] 46 Awards YTA YTA YTA YTFA How DARE you cut her hair and take away her autonomy just because you have decided she is vain? What the absolute hell. I am seriously at a loss for words that you even have to ask whether or not this was an asshole thing to do. Shame on you, seriously.
  • 09
    Font - mayhnavea 20h ● And labelling that as "vain" was so useful, as it enabled doing anything to that girl in the name of morality. ... 11.6k
  • 10
    Font - Bleu Cerise 20h she could be doing other more productive things like... helping me with chores. THAT is the real issue. OP wants a step that's more Cinderella and way less Rapunzel. 9.8k
  • 11
    Font - Crafty-Gardener • 19h Partassipant [2] not just chores, its so op doesn't have to get her ass up so early on a morning. YTA Lady Tremaine, 45.3k 5.3k
  • 12
    Font - Cam515278 • 18h That part I find understandable. But then she could have just sat the girl and the father down and explained she was super tired of doing that and they need another solution. And she knew what she was doing was wrong or she wouldn't have only told the girl in the car but talked about it with her and her father before, even if just in an offhand comment. 3.5k
  • 13
    Font - Librarycat77 • 18h 1 Award Yes, but also I don't see it as a big deal as I have always had shoulder length hair as my hair does not grow very fast and I get frequent trims. It's a lot more practical. OP is jealous of her step daughters hair because hers wont grow. Potentially in part because she uses lower quality products and yanks a big brush through it, causing more split ends. But thats reading a bit more into her complaints. 43.5k
  • 14
    Font - Brilliant-Sea-2015. Well, if she thinks $10 is expensive for a bottle of shampoo, it's not a giant leap here. 17h ... 1.7k
  • 15
    Rectangle - Bug_Still 19h 3 Awards YTA!!!!! Lemme tell ya something as a middle school teacher: 11 year olds aren't vain. They are generally insecure, don't like change, and are finding their identity. You took a part of herself away from her. SHAME ON YOU ... 43.6k
  • 16
    Font - MutantsAtTableNine 19h Asshole Aficionado [10] I love how OP cited taking a long time to detangle hair with a wide tooth comb as a "waste" of time and some kind of indicator of vanity/obsession. Using a wide tooth comb (or special wet brushes with flexible bristles) for more textured/longer hair is literally haircare 101. As someone with long curly hair that takes time to detangle, I suppose OP would find me vain, unless I used a regular brush and ripped hair out of my scalp. Fun. YTA ...
  • 17
    Font - revewrecker • 19h Asshole Enthusiast [8] 1 Award I am black with kinky/coily hair texture. Detangling my hair on a GOOD hair day easily, easily takes at least 30mins and that's if I'm not being thorough and just trying to be passively presentable. If I'm trying to "slay" and actually do it right - it's going to take an hour easy to detangle without causing breakage. With shrinkage, my hair length varies but blown out it about mid shoulder blade length.
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    Font - This woman deserves the divorce she is going to get. My blood damn near boiled reading this. The poor child is only 11. How absolutely cruel to do something like this and try to make all these pitiful excuses. $10-$11 haircare products is CHEAP for any hair line or hair type straight/wavy/curly. Thats what bottom line brand stuff runs. 1.5k
  • 19
    Font - MusingAudibly. 21h Asshole Aficionado [13] 9 Awards YTA. In fact, you're one of the biggest assholes I have ever seen on this sub. I would categorize what you did as abuse. The child didn't want her hair cut, the salon didn't want to do it, and you just couldn't be fucking bothered to speak to one of the girl's parents (both of whom have a relationship with her). You made her hair all about your opinions.
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    Font - On top of that, what you describe as being somehow a pain in the ass (special products, combs, etc.) is actually a very clear indication that the girl has been taking care of her hair well. It's not like she just let it grow and did nothing to maintain it. How dare you make this all about you? Who the fuck cares if you don't like combing her hair in the morning? The solution to that is to either have her do it herself, or talk to her father. Cutting off the hair based on your own convenie
  • 21
    Rectangle - You abused a child just so you could sleep a little longer in the morning. You are an enormous, entitled, uncaring asshole. I hope, for that's child's sake, that your husband wakes up to what kind of person you are and cuts you off entirely. 22k
  • 22
    Font - Puppyjito 21h Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] YTA. You did this without the child's parents' knowledge or consent. You did it without the child's consent. If the routine was causing problems for you, you should have TALKED TO YOUR HUSBAND. Not arbitrarily decided that you got to choose her hair length. Your husband is right...he can't trust you with her. Be prepared for a divorce. ... 10.1k
  • 23
    Font - Ok-Hunter-7036 • 21h I hope this fake. Because if my daughters or sons stepdad this shit, I would be going for full custody. What's your problem? Are you that jealous of an 11 year old? You knew what you were doing was wrong. ... 42.5K
  • 24
    Rectangle - joeswastedtime . 21h Professor Emeritass [76] YTA entirely. She's not your daughter to decide anything about. ... 1k

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